UNCLE MITCH, and not Miller

It has been a few days now. Those birds are still circling. Just like vultures. Round and round they go and where they stop, ...Hey, wait a damned minute, they don't stop. They are there when I first look outside of a morning and they are still there when I close the gate at night. Hell,there must be more than three. Even owls have to light sometime don't they?

I think Hootie must be the devil. He went down to Georgia too. But the devil only went to get a soul. Hootie went down there and got a lot more than that. He got a whole family, and now it looks like he brought all their cousins back too. Damned birds gonna pay. You betcha, he's gonna pay.

I see them up there in that old pine tree. Him and Lorena. Omigod! There must be five or six more adult owls there too. He must have cleaned out the whole county when he went down there. Brought home all her family and all the kids. Christ, we aint got that many mice in the whole area to feed that crew.

Another swig. Ahh, goes down like Tennessee sunshine. Or some of Uncle Mitchs' best moon.
Damn. he made good moon. Best in the three counties I ever got it from. I guess it was because he made it the right way. None of those pure sugar deals for Mitch. Corn all the way. Smooth, I tell you.

Came out of the pipe just as clear as a mountain morning and pure as spring water. With a clout that would knock you down, too. The guys over the hill squeezed their shine through a blanket to color it up. Trouble was, you never knew where that blanket had been before it was squeezed. But Mitch would never do anything like that. He loved it just as it came out of the pipe, clear as a bell, just the way I like it too.

Someone I know tells the tale that he swears is true. Says he was out squirrel hunting one October day. Day was a little hot and he decided to walk and hunt as opposed to our usual picking a place and waiting for the game to come to us. And in his rambles he happened upon the place where Uncle Mitch had his current still. I guess Mitch hadn't gotten back quickly enough and the moon was overflowing the catch barrel and trickling down into the creek.

There were four or five old milk cows in the pasture. You know what happened next. I don't have to tell you, do I? He swears they were stumbling around and falling down. Funniest thing he had seen in a while.

Take it for what it's worth. I think it was probably him doing the stumbling and falling down after sampling that shine.

But, then again, what do I know. I believe in non-existent owls, too! And, tomorrow, I'm going to get me some non-existent pussycats. I'll show them damned owls they are not taking over my woods and my house and my life, such as it is. Better take another draw on that bottle, boy. And quit drooling.

I'm gonna getcha Hootie. Mark my words. When you hear that meowing tomorrow, you'll know you're in trouble. And if I hear it I'll know I've finally slipped off the deep end.