Old Poems by Other Poets #4

When in high school, I was one of the fortunate ones that was able to have Stella Sumpter for Latin--for two years running. Now I was no great Latin scholar, but I was pretty good at piecing out what the writer was saying . She got all over me one time, though.

The story was about Quintus, and his family and friends liked to write letters telling about his exploits. So I had translated the pages the night before and had them written out and lying on my desk. It was at the beginning of the letter and the writer was asking about Quintus and his activities. But the way it was phrased, Quintus could be interpreted as I did--honestly. Naturally, Mrs. Sumpter had to call on me. All I did was to interpret it as if there was no capital Q. So I said--How is our fifth holding out?

The class was in an uproar. She was flabbergasted. And was going to give me a low mark for class activities that day. We convinced her otherwise, and my interpretation was given to other classes to see if they could spot the error. None could (as they had heard the story before they got into class.) She was again flabbergasted, and we moved on to Jason and the Argonauts.

Many terms used in the following appear to be Latin. See if you can spot the obvious ones that are not. It is called "Song of the Opossum" as translated. In the original the unknown author simply titled it


CARMEN POSSUM

The nox was lit by the lux of Luna,
And 'twas a nox most opportuna
To catch a possum or a coona;
For nix was scattered on this mundus,
A shallow nix, et non profundus.
On sic a nox with canis unus,
Two boys went out to hunt for coonus.
The corpus of this bonus canis
Was full as long as octo span is,
But brevior legs had canis never
Quam had hic dog; et bonus clever,
Some used to say, in stultum jocum
Quod a field was too small locum
For sic a dog to make a turnus
Circum self from stem to sternus.
Unis canis, duo puer,
Nunquam braver, nunquam truer,
Quam hoc trio nunquam fuit,
If there was I never knew it.
This bonus dog had one bad habit,
Amabat much to tree a rabbit,
Amabat plus to chase a rattus,
Amabat bene tree a cattus.
But on this nixy moonlight night
This old canis did just right.
Nunquam treed a starving rattus,
nunquam chased a starving cattus.
But securrit on, intentus
On the track and on the scentus,
Till he trees a possum strongum,
In a hollow trunkum longum.
Loud he barked in horrid bellum,
Seemed on terra vehit pellum.
Quickly ran the duo puer
Mors of possum to secure.
Quam venerit, one began
To chop away like quisque man.
Soon the axe went through the trunkum
Soon he hit it all kerchunkum;
Combat deepens, on ye braves!
Canis, pueri et staves;
As his powers non longius tarry,
Possum potest, non pugnare.
On the nix his corpus lieth.
Dow to Hades spirit flieth,
Joyful pueri, canis bonus,
Think him dead as any stonus.
Now they seek their pater's domo,
Feeling proud as any homo,
Knowing, certe, they will blossom
Into heroes, when with possum
They arrive, narrabunt story,
Plenus blood et plenior glory.
Pompey, David, Samson, Caesar,
Cyrus, Black Hawk, Shalmanezer!
Tell me where est now the gloria,
Where the honors of victoria?
Nunc a domum narrent story,
Plenus sanguine, tragic, gory.
Pater praiseth, likewise mater,
Wonders greatly younger frater.
Possum leave they on the mundus,
Go themselves to sleep profundus,
Somniunt possums slain in battle,
Strong a ursae, large as cattle.
When nox gives way to lux of morning,
Albam terram much adorning,
Up they jump to see the varmen,
Of the which this is the carmen.
Lo! possum est resurrectum!
Ecce pueri dejectum,
Ne relinquit track behind him,
Et the pueri never find him.
Cruel possum! bestia vilest,
How the pueros thou beguilest!
Pueri think non plus of Caesar,
Go ad Orcum, Shalmanezer,
Take your laurels, cum the honor,
Since ista possum is a goner!


Aw, you saw it coming, dintcha?

The poem appears on pages 484 and 485 of "The Best Lov Poems of the American People" Selected by Hazel Felleman, Garden City Books, Garden City, NY, copyright 1936, 37th printing, 1960